SHIRTLESS BEAR-FIGHTER!!

Issue #4 come out Wednesday (9/20). Issue #5, the final issue – the conclusion – comes out next month.

Now! It is time! It is time to discuss the Pros and Cons of wearing shirts while fighting bears!

It’s the SHIRT! 

Nothing Less-Than-Spectacular! 

Beartastic! 

A cause worth Fighting For!

Published by IMAGE COMICS

Created by Jody Leheup, Sebastian Girner and Nil Vendrell

Written by Jody Leheup and Sebastian Girner

Art by Nil Vendrell

Color by Mike Spicer

Letters by Dave Lanphear

I have friends who love the film Black Dynamite, despite it being ridiculous, dumb and has an all too perfect-can-do-anything main character that prevents any sort of suspense of disbelief or true conflict. I hate the movie for all the reasons most people love it.

Then came along something so f%^&ing ridiculous and stupid, it could be the dumbest idea ever for anything.




Something that is borderline insulting to the intelligent readers out there and to the dumbest.

Something that by all rights shouldn’t exist.

But it does . . . and if there is a GOD (or GODS) may he (she, them) help us ALL because

IS F%^&KING AWESOME!

(I just wrote that in a public forum. Yep)

When SHIRTLESS BEAR-FIGHTER first came out I ultimately passed on the first issue. The idea, concept and write-up for it screamed STAY AWAY! So I did.

All my buddies at my comic store (Drawn to Comics: www.drawntocomics.com), kept urging me to read it, telling me how good it was. Jason, Ashley, Ashley – I didn’t believe you. In fact I thought you might be crazy.

Issue #2 came out – skipped it. For about a week. The following Tuesday evening I was in store, broke down and bought issue 1 and 2. Then I read . . .

And I haven’t been the same since.

Issue 3, followed by Issue 4 last Wednesday, followed by this blog review with one issue left to go and I have to say: ISSUE FIVE NEEDS TO GET HERE NOW!!!

What is SHIRTLESS BEAR-FIGHTER about??? Let me see if I can answer that.

SHIRTLESS BEAR-FIGHTER is about SHIRTLESS, a man raised by, betrayed by and now fights, Bears. The US Government calls upon him for help when Bear attacks in cities increase alarming and SHIRTLESS find himself in conflict with the brother of the woman he once loved, Jaxson Logger, a man determined to tear down the forests and turn them all into – Fuzzy Wipes toilet paper.






No. You didn’t read that wrong. See what I mean? This idea is wrong on many levels, but the execution and final project is AWESOME on many more levels.

Almost everything in SHIRTLESS BEAR-FIGHTER is done extremely well. Bery well I fact. Three things make this title outstanding: The Art, The Writing, The Characters.

The Art is a perfect fit for the story. Nil Vendrell’s art is smooth, clean, defined and well laid out. It enhances and tells the story, never overwhelming. Mike Spicer’s colors only help Vendrell’s art.

Jody Leheup and Sebastian Girner’s writing is dead on. They take an overly ridiculous and stupid idea and turn it into a polished diamond. Their writing elevates this from a potential joke, ‘cute’ title into something akin to an art house type comic.

Then there are the characters – this is where the book really shines. The characterization is excellent across the board. No characters are stock characters, the main characters – even the dead pan Shirt-Less, feel like real people. If anything the villain might be an overzealous parody of villains – but still well-rounded.

There in is the true Gem of this title – the characters take everything in this book seriously. No matter how ridiculous the situation may seem or sound like – the characters affected treat it seriously and with the right amount of gravity, giving everything a sense of danger, immediacy and urgency. No one acts like they are ‘in’ on the joke.

My favorite part of this title is the lead agent, and maybe friend of Shirt Less. A man who mentions all the wars he has fought in – hinting that he has fought in Vietnam, Korea, World War II, World War I, the Civil War and perhaps the Revolutionary War. Yep.

If you haven’t figured it out by now I like SHIRTLESS BEAR-FIGHTER. Read it, Now. Then tell all your friends.

If you already read SHIRTLESS BEAR-FIGHTER and like it. Welcome, my friend.

If you don’t read SHIRTLESS BEAR-FIGHTER. Go. NOW. Read. I’ll wait . . .

If you have read SHIRTLESS BEAR-FIGHTER and don’t like it. Well . . . that’s between you and GOD . . . I mean SHIRTLESS.

The question is now, with only one issue left, what are we going to do in life without SHIRTLESS BEAR-FIGHTER??

Final Thoughts:

Seriously, read this title or I will personally send the biggest bears I can find to your house and tell them you have all the Honey. All of IT.

RATING: 8.5 – Required Reading!

BURNING MIND REVIEW: WOLFENSTEIN

Publisher: Titan Comics

Written by Dan Watters

Art by Piotr Kowalski & Ronilson Freire

Colors by Brad Simpson & Greg Menzie

I have enjoyed the Wolfenstein video games, so I figured I would pick this one up off this week’s new release shelf. It’s the first Titan Comics video game based comic booked I have pick up. I like a lot of Titan titles . . . .

And I thought ‘It can’t be as bad as Dynamite’s ATARI line.’

Uh, wrong.

I don’t know where to start, but Wolfenstein #1 and I got off to a bad start as soon as I opened the cover and saw a two page The Story So Far . . .



It never recovered after the bad start, and I found myself disconnected from Wolfenstein from the very beginning. The story seemed to meander without any real plot (or story) or direction and just revealed itself to be a complete mess.

The dialog didn’t help as it felt wooden and hard to read.

The art is the strongest point in the book, characters look nice and distinct and the muted colors give the right dystopian feel. However, it doesn’t help elevate the book. In fact there are some scenes where the art is just as confused and baffling as the story.

Overall, Wolfenstein falls flat and disappointing.

Remember the two page The Story So Far . . . I mentioned? While that is what got everything off to a bad start, I have to say it was the best part of the title. It told a better story then the actual comic did.

FINAL THOUGHT:
Not worth the time.

RATING: 4 – Skip It.

WHAT I WATCH IREVIEW: MAGELLAN

Arrowstorm Entertainment

Directed by Rob York

Screenplay by Rob York & Scott Baird

Starring Brandon Ray Olive
Whitney Palmer
K. Danor Gerald
D. L. Walker
Matthew Mercer (Voice Only)
Nicola Posener (Voice Only)

Recently I picked up Magellan on DVD from WalMart, which is apparently an early WalMart release.

I liked the Key art and the premise seemed good. I knew going in this was low budget, but that is not always a killer for me – as it is for many people.

Popping in the disc I saw Arrowstorm Entertainment, the same company behind the Mythica series (I loved the first one – need to watch the rest). That gave me some hope.

Some hope, not complete hope as it seems. Not entirely misplaced, but only just.

Magellan is the story of Roger Nelson, USAF (Captain or Commander?), an astronaut who finally gets a mission to the stars. One that requires him to leave his wife behind for a decade. NASA has discovered alien transmissions – three of them – originating within our Solar System.

Nelson is sent out to investigate and find the sources of the transmissions. He is aided by two A.I.s (voiced by Matthew Mercer and Nicola Posener).

This is basically a one man show carried by Brandon Ray Olive as Roger Nelson.

I will get this out of the way right now: The best and worst thing I can say about Magellan is that it is an average film at best. Not good, but not terrible either.

In fact (and this may sound odd), it is better than it should be, but not good as good as it could have been. Magellan has some very lofty ambitions (2001 anyone?), and really reaches to be an intellectual sci-fi tale. It just falls short.

As I mentioned above, this is a low budget affair – and it shows. In this case, there are a number of scenes where the budget is a killer. The CGI for the space scenes are very badly done, coming in looking like early nineties CGI.

The scenes on the moons on which Nelson lands on are terrible, and none of them look convincing.

The set scenes for the interior of the Magellan – although small and sterile looking – are believable and passable.

Worse than the low budget is the low quality acting – specifically from Whitney Palmer (as Nelson’s Wife) and K. Danor Gerald (as Nelson’s direct superior). Their time on screen is fortunately limited – as is their performances – but when they are on screen it is painful to watch.

The screenplay is one of the stronger parts of Magellan. The plot and purpose of the story (discovery) is very good and at times engaging and thoughtful – if not thought provoking. But there are some things that drag the story down.

The biggest point is Nelson’s wife and the relationship shown. It doesn’t work on any level. A plot point where it is mention she sent him a message and hinted that it is not good and she tried to delete it, is dropped for no reason and seems to have been forgotten. Since it was presented for the time mentioned as important, then never used, it would have been better served deleted from the film.

The ultimate strength of this film is Brandon Ray Olive – who carries this entire film on his shoulders. He appears in 99% percent of the film by himself – a lone astronaut on a ten year mission. He gives a fair, even handed and mostly believable performance, if at times shaky.




My biggest problem with this whole thing is Roger Nelson’s rank, which changes from Captain to Commander numerous times. It is specifically shown that he is United States Air Force (USAF). That would make him a Rank of Captain. NOT Commander. USAF does not use the Rank of Commander, only the Naval Services do.

In the end Magellan ultimately disappoints, never quite living up to its goal, but trying. It presents an interesting premise and ideas, but never fully develops them.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Sci-Fi and film festival buffs may be engaged. Others not so much.
The ‘so bad, it’s good’ crowd, won’t find too much here.

RATING: 5

BURNING MIND COMIC BOOK REVIEW: ELSEWHERE #1 & 2

ELSEWHERE
#1 & 2

Creators Jay Faerber & Sumeyye Kesgin

Writer Jay Faerber

Artist Sumeyye Kesgin

Colorist Ron Riley

Publisher IMAGE COMICS

Did you know that Amelia Earhart (link) disappeared into another dimension, meet DB Cooper (link) there and become embroiled in a rebellion against an oppressor named Lord Kragen? No?

Why Not!!

Obviously you aren’t reading Elsewhere by Jay Faerber & Sumeyye Kesgin coming forth from Image Comics.

I picked up Elsewhere on the strength of Faerber’s CooperHead (which I love) and so far, so good through two issues.

Elsewhere is an fantasy action/adventure title that tells us Amelia’s adventures in this new world, as she searches for her co-pilot Fred and wants to go home. She’s befriended by two aliens, Cort and Tavel, gets thrown into a dungeon, meets DB Copper who finds himself here after his own airplane jump, and is basically in a lot of trouble.

There are two interesting tidbits in these two issues that aren’t really touched on yet – but feel important.

One: This world’s language is identical to English.

Two: Lord Kragen wants her dead because her arrival was foretold. (See, that seems important.)

The first issue was very fast paced, more action packed and introduced us to Amelia and her two new allies. The second issue has less action, a slower pace but expands the world, and gives us more of a view of what is going on – introducing new characters.

The ultimate strength of Elsewhere is Faerber’s writing. The ultimate strength of the writing is in the characterization. Amelia, Cort and Tavel are full fledge characters with their own personalities, they – so far – are the driving points of the story.

Sumeyye Kesgin’s art is solid, but not spectacular. It complements Faerber’s story very well and never threatens to overwhelm the narrative. The real strength of Kesgin’s art is the layout and flow to the story.

Overall Elsewhere is an expertly crafted title, filled with adventure that promised to only get ramped up in future issues.

It’s time to disappear into Elsewhere.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Fun and entertaining.

RATING: 7.5 – Recommended Reading.

BURNING MIND COMIC BOOK REVIEW: John Carpenter’s TALES OF SCIENCE FICTION

John Carpenter’s TALES OF SCIENCE FICTION

THE VAULT
# 1 & 2

Series Created by John Carpenter & Sandy King

Vault created and written by James Ninness

Pencils and Inks by Andres Esparza

Colors by Sergio Martinez

Publisher: Storm King Comics

The Vault is the first tale (a three-parter) presented in the new science fiction anthology ongoing comic book series ‘John Carpenter’s TALES OF SCIENCE FICTION.’

In THE VAULT the crew of the ship GAIA stumbles across a mysterious alien vessel. The mystery? THE VAULT painted on the ship in English, and Emily Dickinson Poem scribbled on a wall and Arabic Numerals used on controls.

Plus, there is an alien lizard creature stalking the crew.

All the troupes one would expect from a John Carpenter sci-fi film are here. In fact this doesn’t just recall John Carpenter style films, there are elements from many starship set sci-fi films, from Aliens to knock-offs like Star Crystal and Dead Space.

The writing, from James Ninness is fairly solid – if just covering the same ground as every other sci-fi film or comic of the genre. The characters lack, but the pacing and action are decent.

The art work is both the best thing about the title, and the most problematic. Andres Esparza pencil work and inks are very good, but the coloring causes problems.

The book is very dark, murky and muddled to the point where some panels (and some entire pages) are mired in darkness and barely viewable. This is usually caused by the original file being too dark, and only becoming darker when printed (a common problem among indie comics).

This makes the pages almost unreadable, as one can barely tell what is going on. This destroys any flow the story and art may have.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Another comic book series with the ‘John Carpenter’s’ tag, but this is best one so far. Even if problematic, it is better than titles like ‘John Carpenter’s THE ASYLUM.’

RATING: 5

BURNING MIND COMIC BOOK REVIEW: I Hate Fairyland #15

By Skottie Young

Publisher: Image Comics

F*%K FAIRYLAND.

Wait . . . LOVE FAIRYLAND

NO . . . FLUFF FAIRYLAND!

Nope, not right either.

Wait, I got it:
I FLUFFING LOVE TO HATE ‘I HATE FAIRYLAND!’

This may well be the best monthly book on the market from any publisher, period. It certainly is the most subversive, degenerate, fun, entertaining, violent, wrong title from any (major) publisher. Which means it is GREAT!




So far, I have not disliked any issue. Skottie Young has proven himself to be an all-round talent, with not just artistic skills, but storytelling skills that put many ‘writers’ to shame.

This title also proves that sometimes the best stories are the simplest stories, told in a simple yet complex way.

Anyway, who doesn’t love a 5-yeard old mass murder!

If you don’t know I HATE (FUCK) FAIRYLAND is about Gertrude, who has been stuck in Fairyland for thirty years trying to find a way home, with her guide, the flying fly Larry. Did I mention Gertie has been stuck in her five year old body the whole time? That’s kind of important.

Needless to say she has gone kinda insane and has been on a murderous rampage to find her way home. Over the last few issues though, she has changed her ways, becoming nice and innocent – which leads us to issue #15!

Gertie finds her way home! Kindness rules over murders as in just a few days Gertie discovers that being kind leads her to find the way home, where being hateful didn’t. Gertie is happy! Fairyland is happy! Larry is Happy!

Then the FLUFF happens! Gertie . . . is gone. This is both good and bad.

Good #1: Fairyland is Free of Gertie.

Good #2: Larry is Free of Gertie!

Good #3: Gertie is Free of Fairyland and Larry!

Bad #1: Gertie hasn’t gone home.

Gertie has no found herself in a place possibly far worse than Fairyland.

Question is, can this new Hell handle Gertie, or well it truly learn what Damnation is?



Across the board I HATE FAIRYLAND is awesome. Yes, it may be a little predictable at times and follow some standard paths, but it does it so well and entertaining who cares? Just enjoy the ride.

FINAL THOUGHT:
I FLUFFING LOVE TO HATE ‘I HATE FAIRYLAND!’

RATING: 9
FLUFFING REQUIRED READING